Like Mumble
Yesterday afternoon we watched our newest NetFlix video, Happy Feet, with the kids. Though extremely thankful that the drums trumphed the lyrics in volume at certain points, the theme was very relevant for us as a family.
Some of you may know that our precious 10 year old son has special needs that sing a delightful duet with special strengths. During cuddle time last night, he talked about being "different" like the penguin in Happy Feet.
"The penguin's dad [Memphis] said he had dropped him when he [Mumble] was an egg. Is that why he developed differently mom?"
"Oh buddy, Memphis did drop the egg, but that's not why Mumble was different. Mumble was different because he had a special gift. It just took a while for others to see and value his gift."
"Mom, I'm like Mumble. I'm really different. Like when I laugh, no one else does. I wish, I wish--"
"Yes, love."
"I'm too shy to say it."
"Do you wish you weren't different?" (silence)
For the next 5 minutes, I shared with Jonathan how different I always felt growing up. The last kid picked for teams, the first kid others made fun of...I just always saw the world in a different way. I assured him that his difference was a gift, though it may take a long time for others to see and value it.
"Okay mom," he said as he gave me a bear hug. Listening to his breathing as he fell asleep I reflected on the pain of childhood peer rejection. I contemplated the challenges my son was currently facing. And I realized that I was crying.
Some of you may know that our precious 10 year old son has special needs that sing a delightful duet with special strengths. During cuddle time last night, he talked about being "different" like the penguin in Happy Feet.
"The penguin's dad [Memphis] said he had dropped him when he [Mumble] was an egg. Is that why he developed differently mom?"
"Oh buddy, Memphis did drop the egg, but that's not why Mumble was different. Mumble was different because he had a special gift. It just took a while for others to see and value his gift."
"Mom, I'm like Mumble. I'm really different. Like when I laugh, no one else does. I wish, I wish--"
"Yes, love."
"I'm too shy to say it."
"Do you wish you weren't different?" (silence)
For the next 5 minutes, I shared with Jonathan how different I always felt growing up. The last kid picked for teams, the first kid others made fun of...I just always saw the world in a different way. I assured him that his difference was a gift, though it may take a long time for others to see and value it.
"Okay mom," he said as he gave me a bear hug. Listening to his breathing as he fell asleep I reflected on the pain of childhood peer rejection. I contemplated the challenges my son was currently facing. And I realized that I was crying.
posted by alicia britt chole at
9:53 AM
7 Comments:
Alicia,
"I wish I were different." I've heard that from both my boys. My 16 year old who has wisdom beyond his years and doesn't always seem to fit in. Then there is my 14 year old who has epilepsy, and at a time when all kids feel like odd man out sometimes(who didn't at that age?) he too has his own bumps in the road and wishes he were different. Or as he says "normal." I listen to his pain, and remember to tell him, we are all normal. God created each of us unique and different. We try to shift his perspectives and definitions of words but it takes time. I cry too. For both my boys.
Parenting special needs is a gift, and a blessing, and is at times hard. Your son is blessed to have a mother - and father - who know Christ, and who lean into him daily. It shows.
I like your new space, and I'm thrilled you have a blog now. I'm definately one of your readers. The ladies in my church loved your choices Bible study, and my older son did a report on your book The Hidden Years. His teacher loved it and actually bought your book to read it.
Keep writing.
Deana O'Hara
Hello Deana,
Thank you for the post. I was really encouraged that your son read and wrote a report on Anonymous! For teens that have "ears to hear", these principles could save them a lot of grief down the road as well as affect how they lead in the future.
Strength to you and your special family,
alicia
Though I didn't have any special needs growing up, I know what it is like to feel different. I wished many times that my home life could be a bit more on the "normal" side so that I didn't feel so different from all the kids I was around. Your little guy is so lucky to have someone make him feel so loved.
Even yesterday, Keona was asking, "where did Miss Jessie go?!" The Chole family loves you Jess.
alicia
Though I have met you once at our Nazarene Women's Conference in Des Moines, IA almost 2 years ago, you've gotten me confused with another Jessie. I wish this weren't true as I'm sure knowing your family is a true blessing. You were a true inspiration to me at the conference. Going through some struggles right now is what led me to go to your website to get a little encouragement and feel God's presense. I am truly greatful for the devotionals that you e-mail. It is amazing how at times they have been about something that was weighing heavily on my heart at the very moment that I received them.
Oops. Yes, I did think you were our "Miss Jessie." She interned with our family this past year.
But please still receive a hug from the Chole family, Jessie! Peace to you this season,
alicia
Alicia, I completely understand where your son and you are coming from. I went through feeling aleinated in school even in college today I feel different Yet through it all I know that i will over come any challenges and live to fight another day.Try and remember that even though you feel different God made us unque and he love us just the way we are.:)
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