sticky pages

On Saturday I returned home from January's prayer retreat. Bear and I try to give each other 24 hours each month as time away to pray. This retreat was dedicated to reviewing 2007 through reading my journals and evaluating my day timer. It takes a good bit of time but it's an enriching reality-check for me. Where did I REALLY invest my time? Did I focus on the goals I laid before God in prayer at the beginning of the year? And, as Henri Nouwen asked, "Did growing older bring be closer to Jesus?"

2007 was a hard, fruitful year. As a family we had over 30 doctor's visits, 3 ER runs, numerous urgent care appointments, and 2 surgeries. We've experienced colonoscopies, MRIs, diabetes screening, knee surgery, and sleep apnea monitors. We laughed on road trips, held hands on date nights, cuddled on Friday nights (we have a family tradition each Friday of movie night on the floor), and we all spent Valentine's Day together playing at a smancy hotel. We rejoiced when Louie began to crawl, beamed when Keona took her first ballet lesson, cried when Jonathan's emotional strength began to crumble, and prayed while Daddy had an angiogram.

Sometime, somehow in the midst of it all it occurred to me that--in my sincere appreciation for great writers and speakers of old--I had never once asked myself what their children thought of them. Why is that? Their writing has enriched me decades and centuries past their death. But did their lives enrich their children? Would their children testify that they were "open books"?

I'm not sure what people will say in years to come about my writings. But I am certain that all that put together won't be as eternally weighty as the testimony of those who lived with me. I pray that the pages of my life are saturated with the slobbery, sticky kisses and touches of my family. That in the end they would say without hesitation, "Mommy lived what she wrote and wrote what she lived. She was a lover of Jesus."

transported

Yesterday my daughter's words suddenly transported me into bible times. To be specific, I felt like I was listening in on Jesus' conversation with the Canaanite woman who asked him to have mercy on her and heal her troubled daughter (Matthew 15.22-28).

He replied, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel...It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."
"Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."
Then Jesus answered, "Woman you have great faith!"

I've heard reasonable sermons about the passage. I've studied it personally as well. It has always been difficult to process...until yesterday.

Our little Louie is now 12 months old and his favorite "food" is a cheesy snack stick from a company that certainly lives on cruise ships based on how much they charge for 16 pieces of snack food in a cute container...ANYWAY...

These are Louie's treats. They are made in a way that's easy for him to break down with his tiny teeth and gums. The rest of us have a wide variety of foods we can be nourished by, but Louie's choices are very limited. Our dear Keona knows this.

So while I was feeding Louie, Keona asked, "Mommy, I know these are for Louie. But can I have the leftovers from Louie's snack if he throws them on the floor?"

And I was transported. I saw the Canaanite woman acknowledging that Jesus' earthly ministry was in some ways customized for the Jewish people. I saw her quietly but confidently asking for the "leftovers" to be made available for her, a Gentile.

Keona knew that I'd give her anything in the fridge. She knew that Granny would make her anything in the world. She didn't want to take Louie's food because she knew it was especially made for him. But if he discarded it, if he didn't need or want it--couldn't she feast on what he refused??

What did I do when faced with such a sensitive, wise, unashamed request? I opened the can and gave her fresh treats, that's what I did!

And I'm still thinking about what that all means for me, a gentile sinner saved by grace.

on taste buds

Barry didn't marry me because of my cooking. He says I'm a "great" cook but cooking isn't in my primary gifting cluster. I do get jazzed about certain foods, they just happen to be foods no one else wants to eat like...red hot tofu with bok choy over brown rice. Go figure.

My mother, on the other hand, is a truly extraordinary chef who wakes up dreaming of how she can bless others in the kitchen. Just a few days ago we decided to go to Granny's on the spur of the moment. She said she could come up with "something" for breakfast. Something indeed. The kids feasted on polish sausage, bacon, fresh fruit, gluten-free pancakes, and pure Maple syrup. I suffered through a fresh asparagus and goat cheese omlette. You get the picture. Mom's incredible.

So my dear Jonathan spent the day at Granny's while we nursed Keona on Wednesday. After being wonderfully spoiled all day, the poor child came home and announced that he would like some peanut butter toast and grapefruit. I happily pulled out the organic peanut butter, local honey, multi-grain whole wheat bread, and a Texas pink grapefruit.

After a couple of bites Jonathan announced: "Mom, Granny's like 20 times a better cook than you."

"I think you're right," I said. "Granny's a really gifted cook."

"Yeah," Jona replied. Then with all sincerity added, "Here at home, my taste buds hurt."

Yep. Example #7297 why we should only anchor our value in God's love :-).

two late nights

Our newly built storm shelter was put into quick use Monday night as 12 tornados swept through the Ozarks from 11pm to 3am. We bundled up our tribe and took cover three times during a very long night of 100 mph winds and flash flooding. How grateful we are for a home with a solid foundation! And yes, I'm sure one or two devotionals will grow from our experience...

Then last night our dear Keona lost her cookies (actually, her spaghetti and meatballs) around 2am. Our precious daughter has been experiencing stomach pain for weeks now. We're in the process of getting her screened for Celiac disease and other assorted tummy ailments. All day today she just wanted to lie down and cuddle and she didn't want to talk which is a SURE sign that she's REALLY sick :-).

No devotionals from that experience though. Just a sincere request for prayer. As God brings us to your mind, please pray for our Keona.

INK 2007

Beautiful voices and glowing faces from thirty different nations! I had the joy this year of celebrating the New Year at an international student conference called http://www.inkequip2007.org/ in Columbus, Ohio. What joy! These amazing students won my heart. Looking into their eyes in the closing moments of 2007, I knew that the future was in good hands.

There's a passage in Acts 17.11 praising the Bereans who were of "noble character" because they "received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true." Sharing for 3 days on the theme of Anonymous: Jesus' Hidden Years and Yours, I kept thinking of the Bereans as these brilliant students from India, Burkina Faso, Malaysia, China, Sri Lanka, Kenya, Indonesia, Columbia...asked questions, internalized the message, and responded to God with such intense commitment.

The other speakers were wise, loving, genuine souls that I pray I have the opportunity to be with again. I treasured the time I had with Nate, Rich, Bok & Heidi, Dr. Jeberatnam and the other staffers and participants. It was refreshing to sit in a room with a group of "strangers" and within 24 hours to feel as though I'd been adopted as an Auntie and sister. Thank you INKers for receiving me so warmly!