rest, part five
5. rest: my personal journey
Often people ask me if rest is just part of my natural personality--in other words, have rest and margin always been a part of my life. In a word, NO! If you were to ask any of the dear students we served at the University of Texas this question, they might actually laugh. Bear and I as single ministers and then for our first 7 years of marriage, burned the candle at both ends. We each put in 70-80 hours a week, slept little, always had people in our home, and absolutely loved life.
Then God surprised me with a discovery from my journals. Every year I carve out time to read the past year's journals and try to paint a bigger picture of what God has been weaving into my life. In 1994, the past year's journals were filled with words like sad, discouraged, discontent, low, blue, down.
Through the wisdom of a mentor, God showed me that my internal treasure cave was down to its last few pearls. I could keep going at the same pace if I wanted, but I'd wake up soon and find myself totally empty. God then invited me into a sabbatical season.
I thought it was a year of rest, but in fact, God was calling me to rewire my whole life. It didn't happen overnight, in fact I'm still working on these disciplines. But by God's grace and infinite patience, Barry and I now celebrate margin and intentionally work to not live past the edge of our emotional and physical reserves.
There are certainly seasons when we choose to spend that margin on the unexpected (we're in one of those seasons now :-) but that's a conscious choice. And it feels so good (after fourteen years!) to know that when we need to call on a reserve, its going to be there.
Margin is like an emergency savings account--you have to invest in it before an emergency.
Often people ask me if rest is just part of my natural personality--in other words, have rest and margin always been a part of my life. In a word, NO! If you were to ask any of the dear students we served at the University of Texas this question, they might actually laugh. Bear and I as single ministers and then for our first 7 years of marriage, burned the candle at both ends. We each put in 70-80 hours a week, slept little, always had people in our home, and absolutely loved life.
Then God surprised me with a discovery from my journals. Every year I carve out time to read the past year's journals and try to paint a bigger picture of what God has been weaving into my life. In 1994, the past year's journals were filled with words like sad, discouraged, discontent, low, blue, down.
Through the wisdom of a mentor, God showed me that my internal treasure cave was down to its last few pearls. I could keep going at the same pace if I wanted, but I'd wake up soon and find myself totally empty. God then invited me into a sabbatical season.
I thought it was a year of rest, but in fact, God was calling me to rewire my whole life. It didn't happen overnight, in fact I'm still working on these disciplines. But by God's grace and infinite patience, Barry and I now celebrate margin and intentionally work to not live past the edge of our emotional and physical reserves.
There are certainly seasons when we choose to spend that margin on the unexpected (we're in one of those seasons now :-) but that's a conscious choice. And it feels so good (after fourteen years!) to know that when we need to call on a reserve, its going to be there.
Margin is like an emergency savings account--you have to invest in it before an emergency.
Labels: emergencies, Margin, stress
posted by alicia britt chole at
8:56 PM
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